Christmas Day was 3 days ago! And I have sailed through that and the whole shebang that is Christmas without drinking a drop. True, it’s not over till Jan 6th officially, but I’m confident.
It was more tiring than I expected. You tend to think ALL tiredness is due to boozing, being hungover, partying then eating crap food. But actually sometimes it’s due to other stuff, like taking too much on. I think I possibly did that – we hosted a big party and also hosted Christmas Dinner. As a consequence I felt emotionally and physically knackered and went on to cancel a few things, save for some friends coming over very soon who I know will be supportive and easy company.
Was it hard to get through Christmas sober? Yes and no. Yes in so much as there was no fake happy pill to take when I felt very tired (4am start on Christmas Day – thanks 7 year old son). Or when things got stressful – cooking last minute bits for a big Christmas lunch surrounded by lovely but slightly pissed family quaffing Champers like it was going ou of fashion. Did I want to grab the bottle and smash it in one go? No, not one bit. But did I feel like the sober, subdued one on the outside of the fun circle? Yeah, a little. Still later on when everyone else was nodding off watching Alan Partridge I was wide awake – and I smashed Articulate too, whilst a few people who shall remain nameless were a little, well, lacklustre in their describing skills…
I am sleeping like a baby, though. So any tiredness I have is short lived. I am also motivated (JUST, only just) to run every few days, so any irritability is knocked on the head.
Christmas sober is good. I genuinely prefer it. Instead of a Bailey’s in the evening watching TV, I’ve been eating chocolate and drinking tea. So I don’t feel deprived. Tonight as the friends and my husband drink booze (not too much I shouldn’t think as said friends are lovely and sensible) will I feel tempted? No. Tomorrow we’ve been asked to go to a neighbour’s birthday party. Kids too so nothing too raucous. Everyone will be boozing. This will be a little tricky but, again, not so much that I waver.
My wavering seems to have completely disappeared. It just isn’t there. For this I thank Annie Grace’s book This Naked Mind, which I finished recently. It is a game changer and I highly recommend it for anyone who wants to change their drinking habits.
Anyway. I just wanted to check in and let you (who?!) know I am still here. Still sober. Staying strong.
I want to note it down in writing as I need to remind myself how far I have come. Not long ago I would be in hangover hell, exacerbated by insomnia then in turn depression no doubt. But not now. Now I am just here, clear headed and not perfect, but present.
And that’s chuffing marvellous.